This means you are gloating about something you are doing. In my case: I replied to an email saying I would finish some work while waiting backstage at the Hermès 2016 mens hiver fashion show.
Literally: "I'm dying". This is a throwback to before modern medicine, when you could actually die from the common cold. Mostly used to say you have a cold and you are feeling shitty.
The code this developer wrote is as dirty as a pig. "Cochon" is also used to describe somebody who pesters incessantly for sex.
Se saouler or se soûler literally means to get drunk. However, in this case (while working with a difficult client) "ça me saoule" means: "I am getting tired of this shit".
Literally: "Do you have the potato?". Mostly used to ask if you are ready to kick ass at a day full of meetings or any other event which needs determination and energy.
Literally "to cause someone to shit". Used in this context: "Tu me fais chier avec tes conneries". You piss me off with your bullshit. Or as many of my Parisian workmates use it: "Je me fais chier aujourd'hui". Today is such a pain in the ass.
Going down the crapper or to go pear-shaped. Or as many Parisians would say it: My whole life is going to crap.
Often combined with "putain de bordel de merde"; "putain de merde". Means something like: "Jesus fucking Christ or holy fucking shit".
Extreme ball-buster or pain in the ass. Could refer to a situation (like a project at work) or to a person.
When you have slept through your alarm in the morning.
It's freezing. To be very cold. "Ça caille ici !" Means "it's bloody freezing here!"
Literally means your ass sits on two chairs at once. You're supposed to say it like this: "J'ai le cul entre deux chaises". It means eyou feel uncomfortable of two choices you have to make.
When telling an unlikely story and you say: "My mother must die if it's not true". This phrase is mainly used by French-Morrocan people.
This means it's a trap or a bad surprise. Like ordering an exotic and expensive beer but it taste like piss.
Did you chat her up and have you kissed her yet?
The French version of who is wearing the pants in the relationship.
Literally dipping your biscuit in tea. In French this obviously means having sex.
Literaly I have a full ass. It means like you are fed up with something. "J’en ai plein le cul de tes conneries."
A promise is a promise.
Having explosive diarrhea.